But I've been wondering recently. The person who made that choice, the me that made that goal, that was a long time ago - almost 8 years ago, in fact. As one might expect, 8 years will do a lot to a person. Hell, just the past 4 years have changed me, to someone I'm not sure the me from 8 years ago would recognise. And I've been looking at that goal, wondering: Is that the goal that I really want now? I do want to learn, I do want to study. These are things that I still want to do, and still drive my passions. But am I cut out for academia? Academia is a lot more than studying and learning - it's an entire culture and way of life, and can be a very cut-throat world, full of competition for time and funding.
When I was in uni, as a student, it was all very simple - I loved uni, I loved the people there, and I had no real plans to leave and do anything else. I'd found my home, and it was a great home. Now that I've been gone a while though, I've been occasionally looking back, looking at that culture from where I am now, and I can't say that it inspires me terribly now. I'm just not sure that what I want to do is worth everything that I'm going to have to put up with to do it.
The question afterwards, of course, becomes what do I do now, and I'm not really sure on that one just yet. I've focused on the one goal for so long that I never even looked at everything else that I could be doing. I'm fairly certain I don't want to be a real perpetual uni student (I'm not even sure that's sustainable these days), and I know that I'm not terribly interested in being a Call Centre monkey forever either. Some things are pretty constant regardless of what I decide to aim for (for example, paying off debt is going to be prereq for most things that require a big change in income), so it doesn't change the current course of my life too much. But past the short term, I'm just not sure what's next for me, and I can't help but worry about that somewhat, even though worrying doesn't seem to be coming up with any answers. I'm not sure I want to drift from goal to goal, never having a real clue of where I'm going to end up.
It's just a big question mark in my life, and it's only confronting because I'd never realised how big that was, and how fragile what was covering it was, before I started questioning it. And to answer it, I have to do that thing that I'm not so great at doing, which is actually knowing myself enough to have a goal I want to work towards.
It's at times like these I really wish I had a better handle on myself. Then again, maybe I have a better handle on myself than I thought if I'm in this quandry...
This was originally posted at http://kirby1024.dreamwidth.org/124
- Mood:
discontent
Oh god! I can't get that song out of my head!!!
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New Kawaii Not T-Shirts!
Come and get your holiday shopping done with Kawaii Not fashion!
We've got two brand new, limited edition designs for you to choose from:
Remember: this is a pre-order sale.
These shirts will only be available until November 30th, and will begin shipping December 14th.
It's just my subjective personal experience but it feels kinda like the American version of the holiday celebrates our gratitude for all the asskicking and dying that American soldiers have done for us, while the rest of the world celebrates when their veterans finally got to stop fighting and go home. Both sentiments are worthy of honoring but I think it's worth noting where each group places their emphasis. I wonder if Americans would be inclined to celebrate a more European holiday if Americans had experienced the civilian casualties that Europeans experienced from two world wars taking place literally in their front yards.
To be fair the UK also has Armed Forces Day, a closer analog to American Veterans Day which they began celebrating in 2006, so perhaps they're coming around to our way of doing things. It would also be nice if we came around to their way of doing things as well. This post was motivated by yesterday's Boston Big Picture which features a lot of very good photos of armistice memorials all over the world.
a friend who works with a cat shelter put out a call to help for an unhappy cat
. Tho he apparently had been a good cat, he was not doing well caged, or with shelter life, and as his disposition worsened so to did his odds of getting out.
[cue annies theme] Annie to the rescue!
His name apparently, is Mr Floppington Von Petticoat the Third.
our initial meeting wasn't exactly auspicious....i got a swat, gnawed on a bit, and then he promptly walked away. Not exactly true love....
but as promised, beter than even, once he got to our place, away from the shelter, away from the cage, my second attempt to say hi was met immediately with head bumps and purring. His disposition changed before our eyes
... he wandered around checking the place out and looking back as if to say, really? i get to stay here? So far he's not overly affectionate, but not shy at all. Follows us around, constant supervisory kitty... and only a little bit skittish.
He reminds a bit of both of Marble, and Spike.
We'll see how it goes... This may end up only be a medium term foster thing, but so far so good. :) I am cautiously optomistic.
Remember, Montreal! I'm going to be at Expozine this weekend! You should come.
I realized today that the comic I was working on was going to take longer than I thought, so I made these up real quick before I take off for Montreal! You go to one of these things, and it's four days gone like a flash. Not that anyone checks the internet on the weekend, but still. In any case, I like the Kiss elves.
Store!
- Music:Veruca Salt -- All Dressed Up
(I feel I must point out that these are really not what are best in life, and that Molly Crabapple should be arrested and probably waterboarded for making me look at this.)
(Cowgirls. Honestly.)
(Automatically crossposted from warrenellis.com. Feel free to comment here or at my internet church at Whitechapel. If anything in this post looks weird, it's because LJ is run on steampipes and rubber bands -- please click through to the main site.)having one activity on a friday is unusual enough, two is rare...three unheard of...
but i think i have five.
five.
for friday
:/
none for sat mind you...but five for friday
A concert with a friend,
A concert featuring a friend
A birthday
Another birthday
and a wedding anniversary party.
I wish i could move one or two to sat, but alas it doesn't work like that
I'll be lucky if i can negotiate two much less three....
so dear friends... if i don't make it to your event (especially if your event is spendy, or worse, involves crossing large bridges, that tend to spontaneously disintegrate, and fling drivers over deadly s-curves into the abyss) its not personal, I'm there in spirit, but the deck, she is stacked.
Notes augmented
We've enhanced and de-bugged Notes. If you haven't tried it yet, now's the time! You can create a private note when you ban multiple users. You can also delete multiple notes at once. Lastly, paid users have the option to add a note (visible only to you) whenever you add or remove a friend (guaranteed to avoid embarrassing social mishaps). If you don't currently have a paid account, you can upgrade now! It only takes a few minutes and costs less than a bad shopping mall haircut (plus, it's way more fashionable)!
Product tweaks and bug kill
- In another effort to zap spam, comments containing links from domains LiveJournal deems untrustworthy are now automatically screened
- If you sign up to get notifications of the Writer's Block question of the day, you'll now see the daily question in the email notification, so you'll have a little extra time to ponder before you post. You can subscribe to Writers Block notifications here
- The issue causing random comments to vanish has been fixed!
- If you visit a LiveJournal page and get prompted to log in, you'll be returned to the same page after you sign in (Thanks, Dreamwidth)!
- If you don't edit the timestamp for an entry at all, the entry timestamp will indicate the time the entry was posted instead of the time the Update Journal page was loaded
- Comments with paddings/backgrounds render correctly within the comment box (and will no longer wrap outside the box and break frames/margins)
New FCK fixes rich text editor!
- We've updated our RTE (Rich Text Editor) to FCKeditor version 2.6.5
- When switching from the RTE to HTML editor, links for syndicated feeds are no longer broken
- RTE now functions properly in Safari 4.0
- An extra line/space will not be auto-inserted whenever you switch from RTE to HTML editor
- The insert image link now works correctly in all browsers
LiveJournal Cares
We’re pleased to introduce you to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
lj_cares, a new LiveJournal community dedicated to raising awareness and funds for U.S. charitable organizations that improve the health and well-being of people around the world. Each month, we’ll spotlight a nonprofit that is making a significant global impact through medical research, public outreach, and/or humanitarian social programs. Charities will be selected in accordance with the U.S. calendar of national health observances based on a high rating (of over 60%) on Charity Navigator and global scope of impact.
In this, our inaugural month of November, we will celebrate national adoption month by offering a charitable virtual gift (priced at $2.99) to support Love Without Boundaries, an organization that saves the lives of orphans with life-threatening diseases and places them in loving homes around the world. LiveJournal will donate 100% of the proceeds from the sale of charitable vgifts (we'll cover the cost of credit card transaction fees). To learn more about Love Without Boundaries, please visit lj_cares and read about how they helped save Baby Kang and the Rainbow Twins from fatal illnesses, who are now thriving in nurturing families. You can purchase your Love Without Boundaries gifts in the Virtual Gift shop.
Papered in postcards
A couple of weeks ago, we asked you to send in postcards to surround us with LiveJournal community. Thanks for coming through! We've received postcards all the way from Germany, Finland, and Canada and from all over the US, including Texas, Florida, Alaska, Montana, Wyoming, Indiana, Hawaii, and Oklahoma just to name just a handful. We're thrilled with our improved decor.
Please keep the love coming for one more week by writing to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. Be sure to include your username, since we'll be drawing the names of ten random contributors next Thursday to win paid account credits!
Photos of the week
We have more dazzling images posted by talented LiveJournal photographers from around the world. We're hoping to span the entire globe, so please continue posting and tagging. Of course, you can also sit back and enjoy the view at lj_photophile.
You can see a sample of this week's gorgeous photos and check out spotlight communities and awesome user content after the jump!
( Read more... )Curtains
We thank you, once again, for joining us. See you next week!
- Constellation 04: Cover for Sag/Cap issue
"Here's a sneak peek at the new cover for Constellation's Sag/Cap issue out at the end of the month featuring Dame Darcy, Peter James from "Some Secret Place", Pluto in Cap, Travelmania, gorgeous photographs by Christina Labey, & horoscopes based on your inner animus. issue will be available at the end of the month."
(tags:peopleiknow magazine design covers ) - Holy water dispenser combats spread of swine flu - Telegraph
"…a churchgoer waves his or her hand under a sensor and the machine spurts out holy water."
(tags:cult tech )
Because Ariana’s sliiiightly crazy, she’s created a free HAPPY()SAD theme for Tumblr users. This is, of course, based on the HAPPY()SAD t-shirt she and Rich Stevens released yesterday.
(Automatically crossposted from warrenellis.com. Feel free to comment here or at my internet church at Whitechapel. If anything in this post looks weird, it's because LJ is run on steampipes and rubber bands -- please click through to the main site.)Profile
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